New York's The Great Performer

Matthew Silver - NYC's The Great Performer

Every New Yorker knows of Matthew Silver. Unlike Times Square's The Naked Cowboy, Matthew Silver is actually entertaining. He is a little bit on the whacko side - but in his body suit, pink bra, black fanny pack and pet plastic reindeer, his act is actually worth the few minutes of attention. 

My daughter Margaux and I were in NYC to check out possible NYU dorms for her first year when we stumbled upon The Great Entertainer in Astor Place. Check him out next time you're in the city (he is normally in Union Square). To find out more, visit his website: Man In A White Dress.

I Stalked Woody Allen!

Yes, I did. He's been in San Francisco most of the month shooting a film due out next year, featuring Cate Blanchett, Alec Baldwin, Louis CK and more.



When my assistant drove by our neighborhood post office, she saw the cast and crew filming at nearby dental office and there was Woody talking to Cate Blanchett. She called me and I drove down right away. How could I pass this up right in my hood?!

I've seen every single one of the man's films...watching since I was a child. I've seen him play clarinet at the Carlyle in New York, but filming in my neighborhood? Drove by there yesterday and they were filming again.

 Cate Blanchett finishing up a scene

Am I officially a crazed fan?

Horror Hotel Cinema : The Maze (1953)

A slice of homegrown horror for you tonight...

Well, not quite, though this quaint and atmospheric little chiller is set in the remote Scottish Highlands, I'm purdy sure it wasn't filmed there. This is studio bound as they come, folks. And you all know what that means.....fog, great lighting, picturesque as hell, and Gothic as all get out. Good times, old chaps!

The plot revolves around a dashing Scotsman, played by the ever excellent Richard Carlson, (THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE), who is heir to a spooky Scottish castle, and breaks off his engagement to some hot 50's dame to return to the family estate after learning his uncle has went to the big caber-tossing competition in the sky. Said ladyfriend doesn;t hear from the fella in weeks, and decides to go investigate the situation for herself. Soon, she's up to her flapjacks in misty mountains, crumbling castles, aging actors and macabre mazes. And you, the audience, are in for a fun, old-timey ride.

Admittedly, its a little slow to get going, but Carlson holds the interest with a fine performance, and when the action does shift to my bonnie home-world, things pick up pretty quickly. Its a spooky, atmospheric work, and it has a very entertaining and worthwhile finale. And yes, that means its ridiculous and features a cheap, rubber beastie!

So, stop reading, and start viewing.

And stay the fuck away from Haggis....

Review : The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Director:

Drew Goddard

Writers:

Joss Whedon, Drew Goddard

Stars:

Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth and Anna Hutchison

Five college buddies head out to a remote cabin for a weekend of beer, weed, sex and general grooviness, but soon after arriving, they find that, well, I'm not telling....

This will probably be a very short review, folks, and for good reason. If like myself, your a wise and experienced soul, you'll know to avoid all trailers, spoilers and amatuer reviews of this little ditty, (and horror in general, as it happens). Its a film that simply sings if you know nothing about it going in. Hell, it sings anyway, loudly and beautifully. The impact is far greater though, if your out of the loop entirely.

Its no secret by now that what seems like a template horror scenario is turned upside down, spun around, shot full with head-fuckery and let loose on the populace, but boy, does the film impress, hyped or not. This is what horror cinema is all about people. Its a perfect example of why the genre inspires so much love in its audience. Its creativity is boundless, its execution is perfect in every single way, and its just about the most fun I've ever had watching a horror movie in my life.
Now, I'm gonna sound like a lovestruck buffoon as I attempt to review the unreviewable, and I'm fine with that. When a film delights me as much as this did, I ain't got any scruples about giving it head. I can say without hesitation that for sheer exuberance, entertainment and dazzling originality, THE CABIN IN THE WOODS sits right up there with the recent masterpiece, TRICK 'R' TREAT. Like that film, it's release was delayed by a few years, and like that film, its an instant classic. And I do mean classic. Horror of this calibre comes along far too rarely.

Are there more artistic and perhaps more intelligent films out there? Yes. I recently reviewed THE CORRIDOR, which had a formidable brain, (and is also set in a cabin in the woods! Is this scenario now the breeding ground for truly inspired horror? Did I miss the memo!?), and recent works like THE TALL MAN, MARTYRS and INSIDE have all taken a more serious approach to elevating the genre, but this....! No other film in recent memory save the aforementioned Halloween classic can match it for sheer, balls to the wall, edge of your seat FUN. And while that film is a firm and beloved fave of fans the world over, (and as important to our favorite holiday as A CHRISTMAS CAROL is to the masses), THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is arguably even more impressive in its giddy abandon. This is horror cinema made by people who grew up with the genre, love the genre, and from the unbelievable amount of references, know the genre's history.....all of it.

That's not to say its an inaccessible movie to the everyday cinema-goer. All the references are there for the fans, but they are never intrusive. To the genre geek, they raise a smile without ever detracting from the experience of watching something wholly new, and for the mainstream audience....well, they get to enjoy themes, scenes and scares that have stood the test of time to become cinema history in and of themselves. All of us get to have our heads spun around by the films delirious third act. This is a 'universal pleasure' movie; all ages and all creeds. Its just that if you are a genre buff, its a damned heaven/hell sent gift, wrapped in skin and soaked in blood.

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is many things. One of which, is a razor-sharp dissection of the genre, and even its fans. Yet its awash with love, and while its often hilarious, its still a brilliantly effective thriller. Its real hard to explain any of the concepts without giving anything away, so bear with me here...

This is a film that looks at horror in depth. It studies the genres staples, rips them apart and rebuilds them in a way SCREAM could only dream of doing. On one level, we have the stereotypical kids getting high. On another level, we have, in theory, the directors and writers. understanding the genre, fucking with it, and re-inventing it. On yet another level still we have those who demand death and destruction, wherein carnage and originality battle it out with the unspoken need for the familiar. If demands aren't met, there is trouble. Yep, its us. The genre fans. You and me.

Horror inspires the most original and open minded film fans out there, even more so than the art crowd. We want to be dazzled. We want to be shown something we've never seen before. Taken to a place thats wholly alien and disorienting. Our demands are rarely met, but when they are, we get films like THE CABIN IN THE WOODS.

Intellect and theory aside, this is simply a masterful horror film. A love letter to the people that work in the world and the people that ensure they continue to do so. It is, frankly, a horror fans wet dream made incarnate.

I'm not going to give away any references, but I will say that perhaps the entire back-catalog of horrors history may well be nestled within the films black heart. In one scene, and you'll know it when you see it, there is more evil onscreen than in any movie ever made. Ever. its the single greatest and most startling scene I've ever come across in the genre, or in any genre. If it's possible to get so excited you impregnate yourself, then call me 'Daddy'.

The writing, by (Joss Whedon and Director Drew Goddard, no less) is top-calibre stuff. Its smart, realistic and funny as hell. This, of course, leads to great characters, (reader : you don't say!?)

Yes, the five kids are genre cliches, but they have to be for the tale to work. What Whedon and co have done within the confines of those strictures is just wonderful. The characters all feel very real and are very likable. You'll be rooting for these guys all the way. Not least the stoned character, who I must admit, is a man after my own paranoid, (and often baked) heart. I loved this guy. Without doubt my favourite character in a horror film since Ash in THE EVIL DEAD. Damn, was I on this guys team. And Fran Kranz played him to perfection. He appears to be a cartoon at first, then slowly your shown the human beneath the cliche. Its genius. The same goes with all the characters. The jock, the whore, the virgin, the nerd.....all are very different than they initially appear. Much like the movie itself.

The atmosphere, scares and brutality are all here in spades too. From the films intrigueing, hilarious first act, through its hyper-tense and vicious second act, and all the way into its insane, gory, incredible finale. Its perfect. The whole damn thing is perfect.

I'm gonna have to cut this short. I'd hate myself if I gave anything away about what is the best genre film in too many years to count. In case you havent guessed it already, I'm crazy about this thing. It feels like it was made just for me. Like TRICK 'R' TREAT before it, THE CABIN IN THE WOODS feels like my own, my precious, to treasure and enjoy whenever my heart desires. And thats exactly what great cinema does. It belongs to the people.

Where we go from here is anyones guess. THE CABIN IN THE WOODS has raised the bar so high I doubt anyone can see the damn thing from down here. A classic for the ages. A call to arms to get busy showing us devotees things we truly have never seen before. See it immediatly!

10 Evil Elevators out of 10!

8 Reasons Why Grove Restaurant May Be Your Best Bet For Grand Rapids Restaurant Week

#2 Parisian Gnocchi

Grove restaurant continues to amaze me as one of the stellar restaurants in Grand Rapids. Fresh, Local, Colorful, Aromatic - all describes the tantalizing food here. And if those attributes are not enough to convince you to dine this here week - listen to this - Grove is offering a $25 three-course menu featuring its ENTIRE menu (except dessert) during Restaurant Week. Now that deserves my #1 Reason Why Grove Restaurant May Be Your Best Bet For

GR's Restaurant Week 2012.

# 3 S&S Liver with Brioche French Toast

#4 Kimchee Stew

#5 Lamb with French Onion Stew

# 6 Heirloom Gazpacho

#7 Very Crispy Otto's Chicken

# 8 Sea Scallops

Review : Nailbiter (2012)

 

Director:

Patrick Rea

Writers:

Patrick Rea, Kendal Sinn

Stars:

Joicie Appell, Emily Boresow and Jason Coffman

I first heard NAILBITER being described as being very much like an early X-Files episode. You know, one of those 'monster of the week' numbers that many of us enjoyed so much back in the day. And while its true that it is reminiscent of one of those ideas, NAILBITER, sadly, the comparison only runs as far as its idea's.

It begins promisingly enough, with a slightly dysfunctional family, (one mother, three daughters), being caught up in the eye of a tornado and having to take refuge in the basement of a seemingly abandoned house out in the countryside. Once the storm passes, the family find that they are not alone, and are being held against their will in the basement by someone/something unknown.

Its a creepy and original premise, and its early scenes manage to build a certain degree of suspense, but the pace of the film and its below-par performances pull it down before it ever gets a chance to soar. The cardinal rule of creating suspense for a 80/90 minute movie when using one location for extended periods of time, is character. Unfortunately, that's where NAILBITER stumbles over the first hurdle. Its hard to muster any sympathy for any of the girls in peril, as the mother is weak and indecisive, the two younger girls are non-entities, and the oldest daughter is, frankly, annoying as hell. Its a chore to spend time with these people.

There are ways around such flaws, of course. If your audience is not on the side of the protagonists, you'd better have a damn strong antagonist to balance the scales, not to mention some serious carnage to keep the viewer interested in any way you can. This is where the production hits its second wall head-on. We don't get any feel for the threat until way too far into the film, and when we do, its very underwhelming. Budgetary limitations bear some of the weight for this, but its mainly a weak, unfocused script that finishes off whatever goodwill the films early scenes muster. The lack of gore or action is daunting, but when the villain/villains are as poorly drawn as they are here, the project stands little chance of impressing. The originality of the villains, (somewhere between THE TWILIGHT ZONE and H.P.Lovecraft), in concept is blindsided by the scripts refusal to invite us into their world in any insightful way.

Its a shame, as the central idea is a good one, and could have played on family bonds, loyalties, internal conflicts and all that good stuff that screams to be brought to the fore; but the story, (and the characters) go nowhere meaningful. The whole thing feels empty. The script lacks the cohesion of plot or depth of character to keep the audience emotionally or intellectually engaged.

I hate to come to this conclusion, but I can't really recommend NAILBITER. Its ambitions and its heart are all in the right place, but it feels half-formed at the pre-production stages. A little more human insight and a little more chaos would have went a long way. Lets hope next time, director/writer Patrick Rea can take what did work here, and build on it. The creativity and the ambition are there, if not yet the ability. Were this some run-of-the-mill horror, I wouldn't mind its flaws so much, but it could have been so much more, and the missed potential does sting. That said, there's enough here to have me interested in what Rea comes up with next. Time and experience can be powerful allies.

4 Cellar-Dwellers out of 10

Horror Hotel Cinema - Invaders from Mars (1953)

I've been reading a novel by Robert McCammon this past week, called BOYS LIFE. It's an exceptional book that details with pinpoint accuracy the bittersweet endurance test that is 'coming of age'. I can't recommend the book to you folks enough. It really is beautiful to behold. Anyway, this ain't about that, this is about this...

There's a chapter in the book in which two of its young heroes attend a local cinema where, along with their peers, they are terrified out of their minds by a film that plays on the most dreaded of childhood fears...the mistrust of our parents. The book goes into the film in great detail, and it really did set a fire under my ass to revisit this age-old classic and see if it stands the test of time. I did, and it does.

Classic science-fiction, 50's paranoia, a kid in fear of his family, and a hell of a fine time at the Hotel Cinema. Kick back, hop in yer time machine, and prepare yourself for...INVADERS FROM MARS!

Oh, and read that book already.